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orking musicians are a strange breed. They complain bitterly that there aren’t enough gigs going around, and no one is quite as good as them, and really they should have all the gigs. And when they get a gig it’s fantastic. You know you’ve got a bit of work coming up on Saturday night, and even if there’s been nothing since Tuesday you’ve got that gig to look forward to. It might just be playing standards in the background, or it might be a wedding, but everyone looks forward to the gig. It’s a bit of me-time. And yet as soon as you’ve taken to the stage, you’re looking forward to the next break! Having spent all week looking forward to the gig, now that you’re on the gig you can’t wait to stop. Thankfully, there are distractions at hand to get you through that three hour set of standards you’ve waited all week to play. The biggest distraction: the phone. Nope, the musicians aren’t hustling for other gigs while already on a gig (although that has been known to happen). It’s easy access to Amazon, eBay, puzzle games, fashion websites. When it’s not your solo or you’re not playing the head, it’s downtime. Fire up Angry Birds for a few levels until after the drum solo and then you’re back in. Gone are the days of standing back enjoying the music and looking like you’re into it. With the phone on the music stand, you can watch TV, read a book, pick up some new gear online, or text someone about how their gig is going. Or maybe snap a quick photo and post it to Facebook and tell everyone how much you're enjoying this gig you're keen to get distracted from. Of course, phones are only a modern distraction. There’s a story going around about the drummer on the Sunday brunch gig who used to read the paper on his floor tom... For those able to leave the stage (i.e. horn players and singers) the bar can provide a lure too. It’s easy to slip off the stage suggesting you’re going out front to check the levels and return with a pint in each hand. A few of those will get you through the gig no problem, and you might even be convinced you sound better. There’s another story about the lead player who spent his fee at the bar and then some, having to actually pay to leave his own gig in the end. Yet speak to any working musician out there and they’ll say they have the best job in the world!
• Previously, while not trading fours with his phone, Crunk on... gigs from hell